


What's It Like Knowing You're Going To Die?

by dorkyduckling



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst, Pain, this is honestly just pure pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:23:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9106474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkyduckling/pseuds/dorkyduckling
Summary: You are the last to die. You watched your entire team die. You watched helpless and unable to save any of them.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for RWBY but I plan to do more. This is really just pain and there's no happy ending. That being said I hope you enjoy ;)

You are the last to die.   
  
You watched your entire team die. You watched helpless and unable to save any of them. There are days you wonder if it's your punishment for not being a better team leader. A better sister. A better partner. A better girlfriend.    
  
You’ve watched people die before. You didn't see Penny die but it was caught on camera, so you saw it eventually. You weren't fast enough to save Pyrrha either, so you watched her die too. But watching your team die was different. Each death was like a personal attack from the universe. Each death destroyed a piece of your heart and by the time they're gone you welcomed your own. You know it's coming. You can't wait. Truthfully it'll just be a physical end because who you were died a long time ago.   
  
Until then you relive the deaths of your team. Every waking moment you think about them. When you're asleep they haunt your dreams. Their blood stains the back of your eyelids and their screams echo in your ears. It never leaves.   
  
Never.    
  
Yang went first.    
  
Deep down you always expected she would be first. Her reckless nature put her in the thick of it. You hoped that when she and Blake became an item it would get better. It did, a little. But in some ways, it only got worse. Yang's protective nature increased tenfold along with her fear of losing Blake. She would always put herself in danger for her girlfriend.    
  
So, you expected Yang to go out protecting Blake... and she did not disappoint.    
  
One thing you've learned over the years is that the fight is never really over. You are a huntress and a huntress' job is never truly done. Evil is always lurking. Even when the fight with Cinder ended and Beacon was repaired you knew that wasn't the end. You were still naive back then. You were sure that with your team there was nothing you couldn't beat.    
  
Thinking back you suppose you have always won, but winning isn't free and sometimes the cost might not be worth it.    
  
Yang was just the first price paid. She was the first one of your team to give her life 'fighting the good fight'. What a joke.    
  
It was a Grimm mission. Your team was supposed to travel to an infestation and clear it out. The infestation threatened a nearby village so it needed to be dealt with quickly. The four of you had done missions like this before. Many of them far worse than this one particular mission, and upon arriving you had confirmed it was just as reported. Grimm were the major factor and there were very few other variables to consider.    
  
None of you had suspected there was a missing piece. There was a curveball careening right for your team. A missing factor to consider. Human intervention was never on the table. It was just supposed to be your team and Grimm. How were any of you supposed to know the Grimm weren't the real danger?   
  
Gunshots rang through the air and whizzed past your head. One nearly missed Weiss, and you turned to watch a bullet head right for Blake who was too busy dealing with a Beowolf to notice. Everything seemed to slow down as a yellow-blonde blur suddenly moved in front of Blake. The bullet impacted hard, harder than it should have, and Yang was tossed to the ground, alerting Blake to the imminent danger. Your gaze snapped to where the bullet had come from and spotted the glint of the weapons as masked individuals stepped out of the foliage.    
  
Later you'd find out they were White Fang, an organization that never seemed to die. They'd created the infestation to lure teams where they could take them out. At the moment though these hostiles meant nothing in particular. You didn't understand why they were shooting.

 

Blake's yelling caught your attention and you turned back to where you knew she was. Yang had gotten up, blood pouring out of a nasty wound in her abdomen. She was clutching at it with her real hand and punching with her prosthetic. Too many Grimm were bearing down on her and Blake. They were only barely holding all of them back. For a moment, you locked eyes with your sister and something passed between you.

 

Your eyes widened in horror. Yang found her opening and leaned forward to press a kiss to Blake's lips. It distracted the Faunus just long enough and with the last of her strength she punched Blake through a hole in the Grimm. Blake went flying toward you as Yang fell and the Grimm surged on top of her. Instinctively, you grabbed Blake with one arm and shot a hole through a Ursa barreling towards the two of you. You're not even sure how you managed to hold onto Blake with how hard she thrashed.    
  
You can still hear Yang's screaming mixed with Blake's.    
  
Weiss called out for a retreat. More Grimm were coming and the masked figures outnumbered the three of you significantly. You agreed but you also knew getting Blake out of there would take everything you had. Weiss called for backup while you mentally prepared yourself to haul Blake the entire stretch.    
  
Later after you and Weiss had literally dragged Blake to a Bullhead, Qrow and Taiyang went back to look for a body. There wasn't much left to bring back.    
  
There was a time where you believed Yang would be the one unable to survive without Blake. She was always so afraid of losing Blake, you always wondered if Blake thought the same. Yang was strong but she also felt strongly. Blake meant everything to her. You always thought Blake would be able to handle losing Yang.    
  
You were horribly wrong.    
  
Blake Belladonna was not meant to exist without Yang Xiao Long. Blake had told you those exact words herself. Those words were said with hollow eyes and you had to agree with her. Blake didn't exist without Yang. Blake had died with Yang and what came back with you was only a shell. So really you watched Blake die twice.    
  
Ironically enough Blake was not the next one to die. You really got to understand what Blake meant before she died. In fact you experienced it yourself.   
  
Weiss died next.    
  
In your mind Weiss was invincible. Of course you knew that wasn't true, but as her girlfriend it was your job to think she was invincible. You loved her more than anything. You had never felt love like that until you fell for Weiss. Losing her felt like having your heart ripped out of your chest. You could finally understand how Blake felt when Yang died. Sure, Yang was your sister and losing her hurt like crazy but losing Weiss.....   
  
The three of you didn't go out on missions as much after Yang's death. Losing her brought home a real sense of mortality. It reminded you how close you were to death all the time. You'd seen JNPR lose a team member but it wasn't your team. Missions weren't the same without Yang either. They were a darker affair, and the only reason you did them at all was to keep food on the table. There was also the fact that Blake had a death wish and taking her on missions was risky. You and Weiss were always waiting for her to finally get what she wanted.

  
Out of the three of you, none of you expected Weiss to be the next one you lost. You all thought it would be Blake. It's what she wanted. The whole thing is almost laughable when you think about it too long.    
  
The mission was supposed to be a simple one, but you don't believe in simple missions anymore. There was a few of Boarbatusks terrorizing one of the smaller villages, similar to the one you were supposed to save from infestation. All three of you were on red alert for anything that might go wrong again. Fortunately there were no White Fang to shoot at you… just those few Boarbatusks. You set to work with the remainder of your team to kill them which should have been an simple task. “Should” being the key word. Getting at their underbelly is tricky but they're, comparatively, one of the easier Grimm to kill. No one should have died on that mission.    
  
Until you made a mistake.    
  
Your mistake killed the love of your life and that fact haunts you every day. You were team leader. You weren't supposed to make mistakes. You did though and Weiss paid the price. You were moving around, dodging tusks being thrust at you. You made sure to be aware of your teammates around you. Blake was a bit of a loose cannon so it was important you keep an eye on her. Weiss was your girlfriend so you watched her too. Everything was going fine. Then you called out to Weiss for a combo attack on the final yet tricky Boarbatusks. You didn't do them very often anymore. Weiss nodded and immediately began the attack. You carried out the motions of your side of the combo. Your foot hit one of Weiss' stray ice patches. You pitched forward and into Weiss, sending her tumbling as well.    
  
The Boarbatusk had taken the opportunity of Weiss' distraction to run its tusks right through her chest. Weiss cried out in pain as blood spattered her lips. Blake swung at the creature hurting Weiss and dispatched it quickly. You couldn't breathe. You raced to Weiss' side and dropped down, pulling her into your arms. Apologies fell from your lips in rapid succession. She was already gone. Blake had to make the call because you were in no shape to do so.   
  
At least there was body to bury.   
  
You shut down after that. You and Blake made quite the pair with your inability to grieve in healthy ways. Unlike with Yang's loss that caused you to tone down your missions, Weiss' death drove you to do more missions. The last two members of team RWBY became known for taking missions deemed 'suicide missions'. The two of you took the missions any sane Huntsman wouldn't. You finally understood Blake's need to die. You had the same death wish because living without Weiss Schnee wasn't living. Losing your partner is bad enough but when you love your partner too....   
  
Eventually, Blake got her wish. She was the third to die.    
  
You'd gotten close with Blake over the years since she had been your sister's girlfriend. After the deaths of your partners the two of you had bonded. It was a bond forged in bloodshed. You both felt the pain and guilt for their deaths. Blake was your friend. She was there as you both spiraled into oblivion every night. She was a shoulder to cry on when you screamed yourself awake from a nightmare. You were her shoulder when she woke from her own nightmares sobbing.    
  
You didn't expect losing her to hurt so much. Her death was expected. Sure, neither of you knew exactly when you'd die but you both knew it was coming. You thought you were prepared. You were wrong yet again.    
  
That mission was impossible. Anyone who took it had died, and you and Blake accepted it without hesitation. Plenty of people begged you not to. Everyone called you crazy. They said you had a death wish. They weren’t wrong. When Jaune looked at you to tell you it was a suicide mission, you smiled at him. You told him matter-of-factly that you were counting on it. Blake nodded beside you. You'd never seen him look at you that way before. He let you go without another word.    
  
There were two Nevermore, a King Taijitu, half a dozen Beowolves, and at least two dozen Ursai in one area alone. It was the kind of mission you sent several teams of highly skilled Huntsman on. Blake and yourself had taken it alone. Surprisingly enough, you both lasted a while. You took out a Nevermore, the King Taijitu, and quite a few Ursai. Your luck was bound to run out eventually. The remaining Nevermore seemed riled up and let loose a flurry of feathers. You dodged each of them with a grin on your face and a corner of your eye on Blake. Blake was almost as quick... but she wasn't quick enough. Your grin fell as one of the feathers pinned Blake's shoulder. She screamed your name. She couldn't move from where she was and there was a Beowulf right there. You weren't fast enough to get there. Instead you could only watch as the Beowolf ripped out her throat. You never fought so hard in your entire life. Nothing was going to stop you from getting to her. You couldn't let her end up like Yang. The Grimm weren't important anymore.    
  
It was in pieces, but you got Blake's body back home.    
  
You still go on missions. It's the only thing that makes you really feel anything anymore. Most everything else has gone numb. You're sure if you did feel then you wouldn't wait for a mission to do you in. You would do it yourself if you could. The only real thing stopping you from just ending it is your need for your death to mean something. Even if it means one less Grimm, it will be worth it.    
  
You're waiting for a mission that finally does it. You pick the hardest missions you can get your hands on. You fight hard and when you lay down to sleep your teammates flood your mind. You want to join them more than anything. At least death is peaceful, and you won't have to relive them dying. Whether sleeping or awake the images never falter.    
  
You're on a mission right now and you think it might be your last. At least you hope. A smile graces your lips at the thought. You stand in front of a nest of Grimm deep in an underground cavern. You close your eyes. For just a little bit you can imagine Weiss' arms around you. You can hear Yang laughing and Blake's sarcastic remark. You imagine your team is right there with you for your last stand. You step forward and descend into darkness, eyes still closed.    
  
Maybe someone will retrieve your body, if there's anything left.


End file.
